I DON'T LIKE THE TWINS ANYMORE

Losers, losers, losers. I hope they turn it around tonigh.... wait day game? Wait for it, wait for it.... losers. The home town nine slipped into the South Side (presumably their hotel was on the North Side because hotels around US Cellular Field are made of cardboard) only 2 1/2 games back and will take the Mega Bus to Cleveland (Pohlad's still the owner bear in mind) back 6 1/2 as the South Side Rats bent them over and made the Twins call them Daddy.

Minnesota had built an early 5-2 lead courtesy of the bats of Michael Cuddyer and Jason Kubel against Chicago left-hander John Danks. A three-run third inning for the Twins began with Cuddyer's RBI single to center and Jason Kubel's two-run double to right. Cuddyer then drove in two more runs in the fifth with a double to left field.

Whoo!! Lock down mode, let's go 'pen!

But with the Twins holding that three-run lead, Perkins walked Jim Thome (no) with one out in the bottom of the fifth. Right-hander Jesse Crain replaced Perkins and got into trouble. He gave up a two-run homer to Nick Swisher (this is going poorly), his second long ball of the game, to pull Chicago within one.

Matt Guerrier then came in for the seventh. A leadoff double by Orlando Cabrera (Renteria's best man I hear) put the tying run on base. Guerrier (3-2) gave up another hit before Carlos Quentin grounded into a fielder's choice, scoring Cabrera and knotting the game at 5.

This team is taking years off my life.

It wouldn't remain tied for long. Paul Konerko hit his second home run of the season vs. the Twins, a two-run shot to right field, which gave Chicago a 7-5 lead.

The Twins will try to right the ship in America's most beautiful city, home of Drew Carey, colorful air, and hosts of fat women with dubious morals. Twins baseball! Bullpen optional!