NICE NO-HITTER, IDIOT

What if Jordan would have missed that shot against the Jazz? How about if Dwight Clark would have dropped that leaping grab from Montana in the back of the end zone? They would have been nobodies, especially that Jordan character, because they couldn't finish when it mattered most. On that note, I present to thee Gavin Floyd, a man who got all the poor folk on the South Side's hopes up only to have them dashed because he is a forgettable failure/loser of a pitcher. With one out in the top of the ninth, Gavin Floyd let up a trademark meatball to Baby Jesus Joe Mauer that was ripped into the left field gap for a double, thankfully keeping this complete hack out of an exclusive club of pitchers who have recorded a no-hitter. I mean, jeeze, how hard is it to get two more outs? What a freaking failure.

"He got better as the game went on because, at the start, he wasn't very good at all," said White Sox catcher A.J. Piersuckski, who caught Floyd's one-hit effort on April 12 and Mark Buehrle's no-hitter on April 18, 2007. "He pitched great, and it was a lot of fun. It was a shame that Mauer found the gap and the ball fell in. That's the way baseball works some times."

A.J.'s exactly right. Along with a double falling in, standing on the top step yelling obscenities at an opponent as well as trying to critically injure their MVP first basemen are also part of the game. Hey, A.J., how's that poker face treating you?

"I hoped it was an out," added the low-key Floyd of Mauer's one-out high drive. "But I was just excited we won."

If the no-hitter would have happened, it would have been the best thing to happen to the White Sox since their 2005 World Series Championship. Unfortunately, the best event before that was Disco Demolition Night, and before that, this was.